November 5: insult to Injury: A Friend does NOT Insult Like This!

Mark is basically over here all the time eating my EBT food usurping my time and space and cluttering my ability to hear myself think. He's not my roommate and he hasn't paid rent and this is not OK. He's doing it all because he's afraid to go home and face you and work out whatever isn't going well between you guys. Would you please approach him and clear things up? I can't take this anymore. I've made my boundaries clear and he doesn't get it. It goes right over his head. He blames his ADD blah blah blah… You know what? Time to use those skills he learned in therapy and apply them to a real life situation! He so emotionally needy he needs everybody else to take the first step. And he comes over here and leaves tons of trash and dirty dishes after eating all my food! Who does that to somebody who just got EBT two days ago has no food or money of her own is pounding the pavement looking for work to survive and pay her rent November 1… And my EBT does not renew again till December 14. I do not miss use that program. I take it as an extreme gift… A temporary means of assistance to help me get on my feet until I'm earning enough money to pay my own way. That's what it's intended for. I buy really well thought thought out carefully planned wholesome foods that are Staples and will be long-lasting and give me fortitude and nutritious meals so I can be focused and clear and go out and find work. I don't buy stuff for him to come over and eat in one day. What the fuck? Thanks for listening… I'm in a bad way this morning and extremely exhausted and spent because he derailed my entire weekend. I managed to be productive get things done and get job interviews but he doesn't understand weekends are workdays for me. I can't fritter away my time and put my feet up. I'm surviving here! It all goes right over his head when I try to explain it. He has no clue. Whatever is going on over at your house I can't have him here. I did not sign up for a roommate and my landlord won't allow long-term guests and visitors. Mark is going to get me kicked out! Not to mention I have no furniture and I'm sleeping on the floor… (I was going to ask if I could borrow a couple cushions from the couch near the bathroom on your second floor but Mark told me not to because he said you be mad at him. So I didn't). So I'm sleeping on the hardwood floor with the cats totally sore and uncomfortable Mark comes over there's no furniture here so he's talking with is LOUD voice and my poor neighbors are being disturbed. I'm new here and I can't afford to make a disturbance. I do 90% of my work out of my home which is why I chose to rent alone without a roommate because I know the kind of space I need to stay clear and focused. It's bad enough I need to practice the viola right now on the hardwood floors without any rugs or wall hangings her paintings to absorb the sound. So it's going to be loud and echoey for a few weeks until I can get my things out of storage. So that's bad enough but having Mark with his booming voice late at night disturbing my neighbors is not something I'm willing to withstand. It's a small quiet building of four apartments it's a little residential brownstone. He has zero social awareness! I completely understand what you've gone through being his roommate but he paid rent with you through November 30 and that's where he lives. Not here. There was never an agreement for him to live here. Now he starting to say he'll come over and crash whenever things get too tense between you and him. No! He needs to go home and face the music talk to you and sort this out. Thanks for keeping this confidential. I've already confronted him and he doesn't get it. I really would appreciate if you could open up a conversation with him to clear the air between you guys so that he's not spending all his time over here. Call if you want to… That's basically what I wanted to speak about. Don't give me wrong… You and I both know that Mark is a very good person… Very sweet and generous and helpful and sincere and often supportive. I don't deny he's done things in the past week or two that have been super supportive towards my transition. But that doesn't entitle him to come over here and be an uninvited roommate. He just has no clue about boundaries and what's appropriate. It's like he's a mama's boy who needs to women to do all of the work for him clean up his mess cook his food arrange his apartment. What's he going to do when he moves into his new studio? It's going to be a big learning curve… And I think a very worthwhile life lesson.