Monday, October 4: Work and Pressure & Pressure

Well I arrived home from Ardmore after waking up and having some coffee and cereal. I took the bus from Ardmore Avenue in Lancaster Avenue head back to work. I wasn’t extremely tired 4 a Monday. I  

did extra work on Friday and it really helped me because I really had a hard time getting work done. I really shut my insides eating me like  a Pac-Man. Nothing happened today for a change. I think I’m still whipsaw and I have a desire to take a three 

week vacation just to put things in my mental health fox in order. I’m not publishing any my blog till much much later.. Anyhow I did get most of 
the required work done and I still have to do some training. We had our unit meeting today and I just wasn’t ready to tell my supervisor that I plan to retire.  I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I really don’t know what the hell is going on. As usual I feel like running screaming just because 
that’s what I wanna do but I know that isn’t the answer to all my thoughts and prayers. Anyway I’m leading a meeting at the MONDAY Night Beginners tonight . I just bought some extra fare money 
from SEPTA. I only had five dollars left. I think I just need to hang on for about three more months. It sounds like a short time but also it sounds 
like it’ll last forever and affect my life forever before I die. Anyhow I went to the meeting and I thought a lot better afterwards. Actually, I felt better once I start going outside 
and walked around the beautiful air around the city and took 
pictures and got into it again. I felt like I was alive again. I think I need to just go outside everyso often not staying so much. I talked on the phone and I actually turned on the AC to get the smoky air outof my place. It was really hot and bothered. I just couldn’t believe how much better I felt. I have to soon tell my supervisor that I’m planning to retire. I’m just not looking forward to it like a lot of other stuff.