Thursday, May 9: The 30th Day and No Roomate.I Don’t Have to Live In my Resentments

Today I got up with no roommate and no backpack. Joe did fold the futon 
back up and take his backpack with him. It was Sam want anti-climactic. It’s your life my dating experience. I took the rain today and it was 
spastic and I found out why it was
 spastic. The drain before us broke down. At 34th St. whole bunch people Got on the train and we finally drove the train like normal. I didn’t arrive to the yoga building till 5:55AM so I had to pretty much get dressed 

 et my mat I’m not ready get ready for class. What class is good I really like the teacher. Very purging and  took time to notice what I was doing. Which is really much appreciated. It was a 90 minute 

 lass. And then got a call from my old work buddy Peter who were retired  a couple 

 f months ago. He brought some things for the coffee club without expecting what he saw. He saw that the

 office is closed and was wondering where everybody was etc. We talked about that in retirement he told  me to not use much vacation time the last year so you can get some more cash when you leave. I need that 

 oney the bridge between the last day and then when the pension kicks in several months. I went to the 

 eeting and it was about Peter. That’s a topic I’m pretty familiar with. I worked on listening to the

 shares and staying out of my own business in my head. The last year almost pushed me over the edge of resentment and I was 

 etermined not to let it take over. The guy I knew from going to a Starbucks was on his birthday
He remembered me and was very pleasant talk to him and actually was part of a 

 onversation for a little while with two other people. Work was a 

 truggle but we got through it and we only have one day left. A lot of apps etc.

 I came home and decided I wasn’t going anywhere I was going 

 o eat eat and then lay around and then sleep. One thing I did was go to YouTube This is 

interesting. This is about Carol Kaye. She was an influential session guitarist who played behind The 

 each Boys,  Simon & Garfunkel and Sam Cooke This is 





 art of the polyphonic series on YouTube. It’s a pretty cool series I must say. I’d forward it to my friend a couple friends of mine.

Wednesday, May 8: Emotionally Unshackled and Roommate Free!!🙃👁

Good morning Bennie and the Jets and everyone else out there in Internet land. Today is hump day and boy do I feel Humpty Dumpty today. First off I started feeling like I was getting a cold and I didn’t sleep very well so I didn’t go to the class. I did go to sunrise and a wonderful speaker was there got me very emotional. I even opened up to a couple people in the way that I didn’t deem possible. Yes I’ve been off the meds for two days but that’s nothing new with it right? 

 anyhow I’m at work trying to untangle the case and I’m taking a break and chilling out and stuff. Well I was the front desk person for a little while then I proceeded to stop. I then did a couple alerts and then saw a person or two one was semiannual reporting and one was a regular case with income. I

 did sneak into the office and saw that my computer was still restarting sincewe left two Fridays ago and shit. I was in a weird mood but I managed maintained. It was also much less busy today. I don’t have a bunch  

of people scheduled but I did manage to see a couple of people and do the client representative thing.  Often on during the day I kept in touch with somebody 

 riting long messages and answering questions and probing questions. I ended up scheduling out a few people as well. Donald Trump Jr. is subpoenaed by Senate 

 Intelligence Committee for further testimony on Trump campaign’s Russia 🇷🇺 contacts. It is now 5:24 PM. I didn’t see it on my new summary so must be fresh

 off the presses news. I’m heading out to the meeting Wes and not going because he’s with his girlfriend eating now 623 seven minutes so I I reckon it’s a speaker discussion meeting. I see that a

  “big“ name just going to speak. It would be not DULL!! It’s pretty cool inside the building but it’s warming up and lots of people came in and apparently they’ve 

 djusted. This should be very interesting. Well it went off pretty well. Nothing 

 ompletely unusual went on. I did run into Wes after the meeting to invite me to his gym with Jen.The Gym was having a dinner  for their members.The food was very delicious for sure. I ended up not being able to 

 alk to them too much because I was talking to her new friend from Annapolis on 

 he phone. We ended up talking for an hour and 43 minutes pretty radical stuff going on.  Different relationship. I also found a video commercial of the Plymouth 
 camp from 1974. The woman is actually hip and attractive not some plain looking housewife. She is him but vulnerable excepting a random gift from a kid sitting on the steps. My mind it play… What a day

The Challenge After Initial Sobriety

I saw this on Facebook. It was entered in a AA group Facebook page

I read the herehereherearticle here 

Then I went to the comments and a fellow quoted Bill Wilson below. I thought it was one of the wisest things I've ever read!!

“I think that many oldsters who have put our AA "booze cure" to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. Perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA—the development of much more real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God.

Those adolescent urges that so many of us have for top approval, perfect security, and perfect romance—urges quite appropriate to age seventeen—prove to be an impossible way of life when we are at age forty-seven or fifty-seven.

Since AA began, I've taken immense wallops in all these areas because of my failure to grow up, emotionally and spiritually. My God, how painful it is to keep demanding the impossible, and how very painful to discover finally, that all along we have had the cart before the horse! Then comes the final agony of seeing how awfully wrong we have been, but still finding ourselves unable to get off the emotional merry-go-round.

How to translate a right mental conviction into a right emotional result, and so into easy, happy, and good living—well, that's not only the neurotic's problem, it's the problem of life itself for all of us who have got to the point of real willingness to hew to right principles in all our affairs.

Even then, as we hew away, peace and joy may still elude us. That's the place so many of us AA oldsters have come to. And it's a hell of a spot, literally. How shall our unconscious—from which so many of our fears, compulsions and phony aspirations still stream—be brought into line with what we actually believe, know and want! How to convince our dumb, raging and hidden "Mr. Hyde" becomes our main task.”

-- Bill Wilson, "The Next Frontier: Emotional Sobriety," AA Grapevine, Jan 1958

herehereherearticle here